In a few weeks, my sons will return to school – and I have to admit I’m looking forward to a return to routine, as well as a quiet house on my days off. So why do I feel a twinge of guilt at my joy? You see, my younger son will be starting high school, which means in just four years, I’ll have two college-age children.
That scares me. When I think about life three-four years ago, it feels like yesterday. Time is moving too fast for me, and in a blink of an eye my “babies” will no longer need me like they do now. They may be living across the country for all I know. Or they may choose to stay closer to home. Nevertheless, life will look very different.
It’s for this very reason you haven’t heard much from me on this blog over the past year. I’ve been too busy soaking up these last few years of parenting children at home. Parenting teens is a huge job. When I think of all the things that need to be taught over the next four years, it overwhelms me – from juggling academics, band, and sports to how to drive a car; from how to prepare meals to learning to work with difficult people. The physical exhaustion of parenting littles has evolved to a more emotional and mental series of tasks.
My priorities have changed dramatically since last fall (2015). Not only did our older son start high school (and in the process, adding a load of activities), but my husband and I were in a serious car accident in November. A drunk driver hit our car and then plowed into a second vehicle. Fortunately for us, our airbags deployed; but sadly, the passenger of the other car passed away after four days in a coma.
Even though we were physically okay (aside from whiplash), I struggled with anxiety, depression, and guilt for months afterward. My second book, Never Fall, was published nine days after the accident, but my heart wasn’t into it like with my first book. I didn’t feel like writing for a long time, and then my busy season at work arrived. Any hopes of a fall release of Never Change, my third Faithfully Yours book, vanished.
It’s now August, and I’m happy to say I’m about a third finished with the rough draft of Never Change. I’m aiming for a late February release date. I feel bad I’ve let down my readers, yet I know they’ll be patient and understanding. The thought that I could’ve been the one who died in the accident woke me up to the notion I need to put my family first. The lady who died had two sons in college, and I’m sure those boys will be cherishing every moment they spent with their mom. I don’t want my sons’ memories to be me sitting in front of my laptop 24/7 while they play video games in the other room.
The end of tax season and several wonderful vacations this summer have revitalized the itch to write, and I’m happy to say I’ve come out of my funk. But now the challenge is establishing the balance of writing and caring for my family. Until my last breath, they will always be my first priority. I could’ve done without the trauma of the car accident to reach this revelation, but I’m glad I can take something from that awful event.
So I guess you can say that I’m starting over, taking it one day at a time, and enjoying the writing process.
Thanks to those who’ve read my first two books. Never Change is coming along, I promise you! I appreciate your patience.
#writing #romanceauthor #lifebalance #parentingteens #selfpublishing